Stats request 101: How to Steal from Supermarket.

So, alot of you are looking for tips on how to steal from supermarkets. Thankfully, Supermarket Ninja is here to kick some shit into you.

First off, let me get this out of the way. When you steal, weather its from a big Multi-National, or a Mum and Dad store, you are not only "sticking it to the man", but you are really stealing from people like you and me. The employees who make a living from the small pay packets that the fat cats in Capital City hand out. Sure, some retailers have insurance and shit, but the more you steal, the more the insurance pays out, and thus the more the insurance costs the company, and then the more shit costs to cover the cost of the insurance. For those that don't have insurance on their stock (idiots), they increase the cost to recover the cost of the lost stock.

So you might think you are king shit for stealing. In reality, you are causing little Sally to go without because her mummy can afford to put food on the table because Trevor from Sunshine thinks its good to steal from her mummy's work.

Now, onto the guide. How to steal in a couple of quick easy steps...

Step one. Get a knife, because you will look hardcore with a knife.
Step two. Slice your wrists open with the knife.
Step three. Bleed out and die. You are a blight on society, and should be glad that I am not killing you. One less cunt in the world is a good thing. If you work in a gang, you should perform step two on them first. However, you should stab them in the heart.

I also don't care for your children either. Kill them. They will probably grow up and be a strain on the system too.