Now that is off my chest like hair on a Metrosexual I bring to you my rant on Money!
So you have coins
So your a paying customer. Big fucking deal. So am I after work. I have cash, I also have a lot of coinage aswell. The joys of being a fucking Woolworths employee, you have a lot of coins. However one thing I fucking hate more is people that insist on paying the exact amount, or something that in their tiny little fucking brains, seems to be right.
EXAMPLE: Fucking cunt walks in and buys $30.75 worth of crap, he pays with 2 $20 notes. He will get $9.25 back. Doesn't sound so bad does it? Well its fucking busy and you have had to endure with assholes like him all day who after handing you the money and expecting the change of $5, 2x$2, 50cents, 20 cents and a 5 cent coin, and AFTER you type in the amount they handed you. He will then proceed to FISH through his fucking pocket for the 75 cents.
He will fish and fish and fish. He will then say that he is doing this to "make it easy for you". NEWSFLASH! It fucking WILL not fucking make it easy for me! I already have a billion 5 cent coins, I already have a million 10 cent coins, And thanks to the fucking bogan scum that came in 30 minutes ago and paid for his smokes with just 20 cent coins, I have enough of those too. WHAT FUCKING MAKES YOU THINK THAT WASTING MY TIME and that of the assholes in line behind you WILL MAKE ANYTHING EASIER? IT FUCKING WILL NOT MAKE IT EASIER!
Mark my words. Next asshole to hand me the coins after I have accepted the cash they gave me before, will only get the coins that are due and the coins they gave me. If you fucking look at me like I'm a fucking retard and why did I do that, then maybe you should look in a mirror. I am not opening the register again unless you buy something, and that would only piss me off some more.
Which brings me to...
Can you change this?
No fucking way. If my till is closed, and you have no intention on buying something from the store, then NO. Its still fucking currency. If you need change to give to your kids, then come into the supermarket, buy them something healthy and it will work out cheaper for you. Need it for public transport, the buy a stick of gum and quit breathing in my face (actually, quit breathing). There is no way in hell I am opening my till for you. NO fucking way.
Why, you just bought some stuff and remembered that you needed the fifty changed? Ok, thats cool with me, so long as the till is still open, if its closed, then your probably are wasting my time now. Once it is closed, you are no longer a customer, you have been finished being server, and all you are now are a waste of space, so fucking move on so I can call the next cunt in the line.
$9.95
This one pisses me off the most. Things that come to $x.95, or $x.90. There are some people out there that insist on paying $y.05, or $y.10.
EXAMPLE: Prick comes in and buys $9.95 worth of shit. He hands me a $20 note. This couldn't be any easier. HOWEVER the cunt will the say "Hold up, I have a 5 cent coin to make it easy for you."
NO IT FUCKING WON'T your R-TARD! Not only will you get $10.10 change now, but the hand movements for me will go from:
Take $20 -> Put $20 in its slot -> Grab $10 -> Grab 5 cents -> Hand to fucker.
TO
Take $20 and 5 cent coin -> Put $20 in its slot -> Put coin in its bin -> Grab $10 -> Grab 10 cents -> Hand to fucker.
Clearly it was easier to write and read the first one than it is the second. Not to mention quicker. Talking about speed, the example doesn't reflect the time it takes for the asshole to fish around for the coin in the first place.
So in conclusion, telling me to hold on for the coins will not make it easy for me. For you it might, but for me, it won't. I have to off load the coins. I don't need the coins, and if I did, you would know. I would be asking if you had the 5 cents or the dollar. Money is money, and if I have the money, then I don't need your sticking coins. Keep them in your pocket, or when you do go to pay, wait for me to finish reading out the total before you waste my time. Waste it in one go, not two. Fish for the coins before you hand me the notes you fucking time wasting asshole.
AND DO NOT, DO FUCKING NOT SAY, WHILE LOOKING FOR THE COINS, I COULD USE THE FUCKING BREAK. I HAVE TO WORK TWICE AS HAD TO MAKE UP THE LOST TIME YOU MADE BY INSISTING ON PAYING WITH THE COINS.
2 comments:
ninja,
take a chill pill! you are one angry checkouter... though, having said that, i find your rants funny as hell and can totally relate to what you say
however, i'd better watch out, cos i'm sure that before too long you'll be having a go at someone like me who shops regularly and therefore buys minimal maounts like 2 potatoes (not in a bag), 1 carrot, 1 kiwi fruit, 2 apples (again, no bag), a tomato and a handful of spinach leaves (no bag - joking! - though the pre-pack crap does piss me off, maybe you could rant about that)
keep up the good checkouting :)
s.
Dear Starth76,
Im glad you enjoy my rants, and think that I am angry. It is true, I don't disagree with that statement.
However, what you do does annoy me, however, I do it myself. Not to annoy, but because I am a tight arse. Why?
Im not sure that it people know this, but the scales at Woolworths, or at Safeway for those unlucky few that live in Victoria, take 2 grams off the total weight. Basically, this is the weight of the bag (which from memory is the paper bag that mushrooms come in.
Why? Because we can't charge different prices for the same item (the bag), you know if you filled it up with something that is $19.99/kg as to something that is $00.99/kg. 2 grams is alot. So taking the bag out of the equation, the 500 grams of carrots (or in the case of the deli, 500 grams of ham) becomes 498 grams. Over the course of a long time, this adds up to a couple of dollars, but its better in my pocket than in the pockets of the Woolworth Shareholders, those filty rich cunts.
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